Ever feel as if you aren’t good enough?? That no matter what you do or say it never seems to be enough? Well, that is how I have felt for the majority of my life. When something goes wrong, I tend to blame myself. My head seems to think, “I don’t deserve anything good.” When people tell me they love me or give me compliments I have a tendency to believe that they aren’t being truthful. I don’t believe them because I realize I don’t know how to love myself.
There is no way you can accept someone’s love, and distribute it and genuinely mean it, if you don’t love yourself first. To put it in a different perspective; If I don’t have money, I don’t have money to give you. So, if I don’t have any love for myself, how can I give any to you too?
But you know… I AM WORTH IT! YOU ARE WORTH IT! WE ALL ARE WORTH IT. I’ve had a few life lessons that have taught me this:
The identity of my worth, my respect, my value should never be controlled if others see that in me or not. The harsh reality of it is, people do come and go out of our lives. You cannot base your happiness in someone/something else or give them control over your life. Because if you do lose that person, you lose everything you worked hard for. The only way to protect yourself is to determine your self value, and to understand your worth and to begin the process of loving yourself first!
Recognize who you are as a person, regardless if people see that or not. You should be able to say to someone “Yes I love you, I care for you, and I will give you the world, REGARDLESS of whether you are able to return it, understand it, or accept it.” Because that person, not being able to return that to you, should not dictate how you feel about yourself.
Sometimes, I seek validation, which keeps me in a crappy situation for longer. I feel I need validation in my life from others because I’m a people pleaser. But, I have to know what I’m worth and my value; I know it’s not dependent on whether someone sees that or not. If someone does NOT see what you are worth, then they are NOT worthy of YOU.
There are people who are going hurt you, disrespect you, and make you feel worthless. The only thing that’s going to keep you sane in that moment of doubting yourself, is understanding that you are NOT defined by whether or not they see YOUR worth; whatever it is you want to be worth. At the end of the day the only person who can tell you your worth is YOU.
You are worth it. You are valuable. You should love yourself. By treating yourself with love and respect you will be able to treat others around you the same way and be able to accept the love you deserve.
We accept the love that we THINK we deserve. If we think that we deserve a love that doesn’t love us back, that doesn’t respect us, that doesn’t value us and we are choosing that love; THEN you think you’re worth that much. BUT if you look at someone and tell them… “this is what I’m worth, this is how I deserve to be treated, this is what I see for myself”. Then you will get treated the way you want to be treated in life.
A few ways that have helped me learn to love myself is:
- Stop comparing
- Speak kindly to myself
- Know my strengths
- Do more of what I love
Since we are all different I encourage you to find something that helps you love yourself. You are worth it, so go out and show it!!!